Love of my life
by Jumaolster
Summary: Natalia is dating Nick. My take on what happened. Last part!I know this is a controversial pairing, but I try to write cannon...Hope you liked it.
1. Dating Nick

Title: Love of my life

Rating : M, at least in later chapters

Pairing Natalia / Nick

Other: My take on why Natalia was still seeing Nick

ON THE MORNING BEFORE NIcK'S DEATH

Natalia smiled at her husband. Her EX-husband, she reminded herself. For all the water under the bridges, she just could not stop from thinking about him as her husband, and herself as a married woman. Strange, but true. She still missed him badly, and as horrible as he was sometimes, they'd had some wonderful times together.

Sometimes she still doubted her decision to call the police that horrible evening. But she had sincerely thought he was about to kill her, and she'd just tried to survive. From there it had been like a snowball rolling downhill, and she was more like a bystander.

Before she knew it, Nick was in jail, she was a divorced woman, and Nick's father had given her money for the downpayment on the tiny apartment in a good area as a means of making amends. She still got along well with Nick's mother, she knew her son had a volatile temper, and had wanted Natalia to come and stay with her at first.

But Natalia had wanted a new life, and had opted to accept the apartment.

And then Nick had presented himself in the Miami Dade lab that day. When she saw him, all these mixed feelings had burned through her body, anger, anxiety, want, desire, loneliness.

She'd been strong that day, and had told him NO. But slowly, slowly, with Nick behaving well and even being nice to her, her defences had worn down, and her loneliness and desire had become the dominant feelings.

He'd asked her out for a lunch date two weeks ago, to discuss some economical matter that they still needed to settle. He'd been his old, fantastic self.

He'd bought her lunch at a really nice restaurant, he'd been telling her jokes until she'd had tears in her eyes. At dessert and coffee, suddenly he'd grown serious.

"Natalia, I know you have difficulties believing me, but I don't ever want to go back to jail again. I'm trying to change and to get my temper and my anger under control, you know? It's not easy, but I'm trying, and I'm hoping you'll help me, please?"

He saw she was hesitating and continued:

"You don't actually have to do anything. I'm just hoping we can continue working on this relationship of ours, to become friends again."

Natalia was definitely melting, and he noticed that immediately.

She answered:

"Let's take it all in babysteps,, ok Nicky?

He smiled at her, his softest smile. She'd called him Nicky, this was going well. Yes, indeed.

All that that swirled through her head right now.

Nick had just called her to ask her to come over that same night, to have dinner at his place, with a glass of wine, and just to talk. No funny business. He promised.

Both Anya and Cristina were going to a party tonight, and Natalia had planned on filling her evening with boring paper work.

Before her brain could kick in, she heard herself accepting his offer:

"Ok, I'll just come over for dinner, and NO funny business, hear me?!"

She heard Nick laughing at her on the other end of the line:

"Yes, Ma'am!" His mock salute made her laugh back, and she said:

"I'll bring the wine, ok?"

And with that, she hung up.

All through the day she'd been giddy and nervous, she hoped it didn't show. She was hoping this would be a good evening, they had been talking nicely to each other at the crime scenes they worked together, and lately, Nick had brought her sandwiches twice when she'd had to work through lunch. If it wasn't for that scar on her left arm, and another one on her back, and the fact that her arm was still hurting when it rained outside, things could have been just like before.

Natalia sighed. She was lonely. Her relationship with Eric had not worked out, and they were both at fault. Sex had been great though. Natalia never thought she'd find another man who could take care of her like Nick had, but Eric was really something. Contrary to popular belief, her dinner date with Ryan had been just that, a dinner date and nothing more. They had both realised about ten minutes into the date that "friendship" was what they were aiming for. SO since that time with Eric, she'd been celibate. No fun, especially since Natalia was a very sensual being.

That night before grabbing a cab over to Nick's place, she showered, fixed her legs and all the rest, and made sure her hair was put up just like Nick liked it.

He'd always been obsessive about her hair, he hadn't liked it when they went out and she curled her hair and let it down. He had wanted it up in a nice sixties style bun, or in a pony tail. He'd always been jealous, even before he became violent.

Now of course with the support group and the shrink and so on, she knew that the writing was on the wall way before he actually raised his hand at her. Even his promises that it would never happen again where standard, but she had always believed him. Until that night when she'd thought he'd kill her, and had run out of the house in her short summer night gown, over to the neighbor's house, who'd called the police. They'd been there in 5 minutes flat, while she was still shaking and crying and from there, they had taken care of all the practical details.

But there was no way to mend her soul.

She put on a nice cream white cotton dress, with a grey inset just under her bust, and some sandals. She grabbed her purse and was out the door the second she heard the cabbie honk the horn.

When she arrived at Nick's place, she was impressed. She'd been there before, on very short visits, but today he'd cleaned the entire flat up to a T (he always was a neat freak) and had even bought some beautiful flowers.

Nick had secretly seen the flowers as an investment, since Maxine was stopping by the next day for lunch, to impress both women.

He'd been at loss of words when he'd seen Natalia walking through the door. She was so beautiful. She was his. Actually she wasn't, and he'd have to get used to it. But he still thought of her as his.

If those idiots next door hadn't called the cops, she'd still be his.

He felt a flash of anger rush through his veins, and did his best to hide it. Natalia's Nickradar was still acutely finetuned to his moods, and she'd been out of there in two seconds if she saw him getting worked up.


	2. Evening

Luckily she'd gone into the small kitchen right away, to help with the finishing touches of the grilled fish and zucchini he was preparing and getting the bread basket out.

"Nick, please open the bottle would you?" she called.

Nick immediately snapped out of it. Don't _mess things up, buddy, he said to himself._

He followed her into the kitchen, and after opening the bottle, he poured himself just enough to taste. He noticed she'd gone through the trouble of getting him favorite wine, he liked a light, slightly chilled red wine with fish, and she'd brought him a Teroldego.

He nodded approval at her, and she gave him one of her megawatt smiles.

"Do you like it? I bought it for us." She confessed, and he felt his male pride swell a bit more.

_Yes, it was definitely all the meddling neighbor's fault, she'd never have told on him._

Natalia in the meantime was enjoying herself. Nick had cooked a delicious meal, he was in a good mood, and she was hoping to be able to repeat this friendship dinner thing often. She smiled at him:

"You've made a wonderful meal, Nick, thank you!"

And with that they sat down and ate.

It was weird, how all the anger, disappointment, hurt and feelings of betrayal, just seemed to fly out the window.

After two glasses of wine each, Nick stood up and carried the bottle into the kitchen. Better not exaggerate.

He came back with dessert, pannacotta with chocolate sauce, Natalia's favourite, and a bottle of sweet Recioto dessert wine.

"After the panna cotta, if you want, we can have small glass of Recioto." She nodded:

"I'd love that, thank you."

Nick had gone trough all the trouble of making the delicate cream and milk custard by himself, and was rewarded with a loud moan of approval.

At hearing her familiar noises, he felt a rush of desire burning down from his throat, through his chest all the way to the pit of his stomach, where he willed it to stop.

He poured them two small glasses of the thick golden liquid, and handed her a glass.

She took a careful sip, and then put her glass down.

"That was wonderful, Nick! I haven't enjoyed myself so much in ages."

With pleasure, Nick saw Natalia blush. He smiled at her.

"Let me show you the view!"

They both took their glasses and walked over to the window , the view over the little park was beautiful.

"If you want to see the view from the bedroom, it's even nicer", Nick gave her his most sincere smile, "no funny business of course!"

Natalia had picked up only good vibes from him this evening, and nodded. He took her by the hand and led her into the bedroom.

She caught her breath. Wow.

"That's amazing! You can see the see from here! How beautiful!"

"Not as amazing as the view I see before me." Nick's voice was low and husky, full of desire and want, he just couldn't hide it anymore. "I know you're not my wife anymore, but you're still the most beautiful woman to me."

Natalia turned around, she could feel the blood pulsing through her veins and the blood leaving her brain, she couldn't think, she couldn't breath.

God, she just wanted the old times, the good ones, back. She so wished things had gone differently.

And Nick was so darn handsome tonight, in those old faded jeans, his brown leather belt she'd bought for him ages ago, and that blue t-shirt that matched his eyes.

Nick reached out and put his hand under her chin to guide her lips to his.

Natalia heard a small voice at the back of her head: Bad idea, bad idea, but she decided to ignore it.

She put her wine glass down on the window sill, and Nick did the same. They were kissing passionately by now, all caution thrown to the wind. He held her in a safe grip, stroking her back with one hand and caressing her butt with the other. He squeezed, to feel if it still felt the same, and she started tugging at his shirt, desperately trying to get him to take it off. She wanted to see and feel those wonderful abs of his, to feel his skin against hers again.

He let go of her just long enough to take his t-shirt off, and threw it on the floor.

Natalia's hands started roaming his chest, and suddenly she felt something new. A scar?

Startled she looked up him.

"A bit of a fight in prison. I made it clear I wasn't taking any crap from anyone. They all got the messege right away." He smiled at her ruefully.

God, he just wanted the old times, the good ones, back. He so wished things had gone differently.

To his surprise, Natalia bent down towards his scar, and kissed it carefully. God, she knew how to make him feel like the most powerful guy on the planet.

He lifter her up towards him, and kissing her he separated her lips with his tongue and plunged into her mouth, to taste it, to feel it. He heard her moan in approval and found the zipper of the dress, and started to pull it down slowly, slowly. He could see Natalia getting goosebumps all over her arms, and he heard her moaning, resting her head on his shoulder.

He pushed her dress down over her shoulder, kissing her left shoulder and let the dress fall to the ground. Natalia stepped out the dress and kicked her sandals of, standing before him in just her underwear. He noticed she'd chosen a white cotton set, which stood out nicely against her bronze skin.

"Lay down on the bed, Nat, I want to see you on the bed." When she obeyed immediately, Nick felt the usual rush of desire.

_Easy, now, or we'll take it too fast, and Nat won't be happy, he thought._

She lay down on the bed, bending her knee's slighty to give him a better view. God, had she missed this. She could tell this would be one smoking hot lovemaking session.

He saw her on the bed and needed to join her right away. Then he quickly opened his belt and got his jeans off, and just let everything lay on the floor. He did pick up her dress and put it over the chair, so it wouldn't get all crumpled up.

Natalia grinned at him.

"C'mere, neat freak!" she teased, and then yelped out loud when he jumped into bed with one big jump.

He started tickling her until she was begging for mercy. The tickling was to get her to let her last guard down, to relax and have fun. Then he lay down on his side and they kissed and touched for a long time. He wanted this to be good for her, not just for him.

When he'd had enough of gentle foreplay, he unhooked her bra and bent down to take her nipple in his mouth. She rolled over to her back to give him full access.

When he heard her moan, he lifted one breast lighty, and started sucking the skin on the downside, to make a big blue lovebite. She'd be able to look at it for days to come, he thought, very much satisfied with himself.

He then pushed her legs apart, and pinched her hard on the inside of her thigh.

"Hey, "she said, "I'll have bruises tomorrow." But she was smiling at him, and he knew that she was enjoying herself.

She lifted her butt for him to take her panties off, and he did so, throwing them on the floor beside him.

She was gorgeous as ever. He loved her rounded feminine forms, her accentuated butt and her full hips.

Then he quickly removed his own underwear, and his impressive erection came to view. Natalia gasped at him.

"I've missed this so much, Nick, so much. Please, I just want to inside me, I want to feel you again." Her voice was low and raspy.

He stroke his hand over his member a couple of times, for her to admire him, and then indicated for her to take him in her mouth.

"Make me ready, little one, and I'll give you all you want."

She pushed him to lay on his back and bent over him from the side, so he could touch her butt and legs. He liked that, being able to look at her taking him in and touching her at the same time.

She could feel him slowly filling into her mouth, sucking a bit on the sensitive top before letting her tongue swirl around his length.

"All the way in, sweetie, " Nick instructed, and Natalia took him as far in as she possibly could. She remember that Nick loved this so much, and when she had him as far in as she could, she held him in the warmth of her mouth, just holding him still.

"Just lay still, baby, I'll tell you when to move, ok?" Natalia lay perfectly still, and she could just hear them both breathing.

"I love this part, " Nick said, short of breath.

_I know, she thought, I know, that's why I'm doing it for you._

"Just a bit more? Baby?" he was massaging her butt cheeks hard with one hand, holding one strand of her hair with the other. But he didn't try to hold her down.

Natalia pushed a little bit further, and nearly felt like throwing up. They both held still. Nick was in heaven. He knew this was not easy for Natalia, but this was so exciting for him, and he'd take good care of her later.

"I'll take good care of you later, Natalia, you know that."

In response she sucked on him. God, she was driving him crazy.

Suddenly he gave her a hard smack on the butt, and she growled a bit in pain. She could feel how he vibrated inside her, and hoped he wouldn't come too soon.

"OK, now suck up and down a couple of times.", Nick said, and she did, until a second hard smack indicated for her to stop.

She slowly let him out of her mouth and looked at him. He looked very happy, very approving. Of course she'd learned early on in their relationship that a blow job would calm him down immensely, and had used it more than once in the past to avoid confrontations.

Once she'd held him in her mouth for over half an hour, sucking every now and then, or licking, or letting her tongue swirl around him. The next day he'd rewarded her with the most amazing all-body-massage, finishing with plunging his fingers into her while sucking hard on her little nub. She'd exploded, yelling her exstasy to the stars.

He nodded his approval, and she smiled at him.

She lay down on her back and spread her legs. Oh God, she just couldn't wait for the wonderful stuff he'd do for her now.

He started with kissing her breasts, kissing her tummy, and inner legs. She was whimpering already, he noted with satisfaction.

He then started sucking on one breast, lightly at first, and then harder and harder. He let his hand mimick the movements on the other breast, until she was moaning out loud.

Oh, how that sound turned him on.

He also knew she had very sensitive inner thighs, and stroked them up and down the entire lengths.

He could see her wetness. She was nearly ready. He'd been ready for a while now, but he wanted her to be able to take him entirely.

He bent down, and separated her folds with his fingers. Her dark pink flesh was swollen, he licked her insides with one quick movement.

He could hear she nearly came, and carefully withdrew.

She would NOT come before he wanted her to, no way.

"Are you ready for me baby?" He asked. She loved being asked this question. During really good lovemaking sessions in the past, she would sometimes ask him to do things for her, and now he wanted to know:

"Is there something you want me to do, hm? Like smacking you butt a bit?"

Sometimes she liked that.

"Or maybe pinch you? You know just those light little pinches you love?

Or else I could turn you around and take you from behind, you like that?"

That was one of her preferred positions. She did have some difficulties coming, standing on all four, and that made it one of his preferred positions as well, because he had all the power over the rhythm and when she would come.

Natalia was ready to explode.

"Please, Nicky, first you on top, and then from the back, can you?"

He hoped so.

"I'll try baby, I'll try."

With that, he couldn't bear waiting anymore, separated her legs widely and pushed first a finger in, to widen her tightness, and then he pushed his member into her, with one satisfying push. He could feel her resistance, the initial one that was always there, and pushed harder, and reached her all the way, until they were completely joined.

He'd always loved seeing himself disappearing into her.

He withdrew nearly completely and plunged into her again, and again. He could feel he wouldn't last long like this, and withdrew halfway out.

Natalia whimpered in protest, but he started licking and teasing her breast instead, and her moans became contented ones.

"Are you nearly there, little one?" Nick asked, he wanted to take her from behind.

She nodded. She was close enough, and if she didn't come with him, he'd take care of her later, she knew that.

Nick pulled out, and Natalia sighed. That had been wonderful.

He patted her hip to get her to turn around, and she did, standing on all fours in front of him.

He separated her buttocks with one hand, and then guided his wet and hard member into her swollen flesh. He could hear her noises, moaning with a slight touch of pain.

_Oh , yes, Baby, Nick thought, this is just what I need._

He pushed himself all the way into her and held onto her thighs while she adjusted.

She moved a bit, to lubricate her insides. He changed positions, so her legs were outside of his, that gave him better leverage.

"Do you want to come?" He asked, he'd take care of her right away of she wanted to.

She nodded at him and stood up on the bed, in a kneeling position, and leaned against him. He stimulated her nipples, and her little nub at the same time, and pushed into her with very small movements. She was holding onto him for all she was worth, hiding her head against his shoulder.

"That's it, Natalia, come for me."

And she did. A strong wave that started somewhere in her toes and her head at the same time, came clashing down on her, and she yelled:

"Nick, Nick! I'm coming!" her muscles tightened around him, and he had to really concentrate not to come with her.

Even after her climax, he was touching her everywhere, looking to prolong it for her.

When she was ready she let go of him, and bent forward on the bed to find leverage with both arms and legs.

He held her legs tightly, just under her buttocks, and said:

"I can do you all hard and fast, right Nat?"

"Yes", she whispered, and felt shivers of anticipation running down her neck and back.

Nick noticed the goosebumps again, a sure sign she was enjoying herself. Maybe he should cancel his date with Maxine, and invite Natalia instead. Maxine seemed a bit cold and hadn't even wanted to neck around much on their second date last week. Dumb girl.

Ah well, he could always have fun with Maxine at lunch and then invite Natalia the next day.

With that decision, he pulled out of Natalia slowly, until he could see all of himself, and then he plunged back in with a hard fast push. He heard her sigh. She liked it, he knew that, and did the same again, this time pushing even harder.

Natalia grabbed a cushion and pushed it underneath her, and lowered herself down on it. Holding on to both the cushion and the bed sheet.

Half of her enjoyment was knowing Nick liked this so much. She really wanted him to be as satisfied as she was. Besides, this kind of hard pushes stimulated her immensely, sometimes in the past she'd even come a second time from contracting her muscles around him when he pulled out, relaxing while waiting for him and then bracing for impact.

She closed her eyes.

"Natalia, I'm close, ok?" That meant he wanted to go for the final round, hard and fast.

Natalia turned around and looked at him, then she nodded.

"Just as you like it, Nick."

And he did. He took hold of her hips and started hammering himself into her, as hard as he dared to. There would be other times, he hoped, in the future, where he would be able to let go completely, but today, he still held back a bit. She'd have bruises on her hips from his hands tomorrow, but she didn't care. She'd just wear pants to work, that was more practical anyway.

With one last hard push, she heard and felt him come inside her, his familiar grunt and growl made her feet tingle.

He grabbed her and then collapsed on the bed together. He held her tightly to his chest and they snuggled until he'd recovered.

"That was just amazing." Nick felt like finally things were going his way.


	3. Parting

He actually felt like sleeping right away, but he knew she wanted to take a shower first, so after a couple of minutes snuggling in bed, they headed off for his bathroom to take a shower together.

He lathered her up in soap, and then she did the same for him, and they stood under the warm water washing and touching each other until the water became colder and colder.

He stepped out first and got a clean towel for her, wrapping her up so she wouldn't get cold. She walked out into the bedroom after doing some emergency make up, just facial cream and not much else, and he followed her, wrapping a towel around his waist.

The bedroom was a mess. Natalia knew he didn't like it, he was the kind who kept his surroundings spotless and the towels on the rack all lined up perfectly.

"I'll make the bed, if you pull out some new bedlinen, baby", Natalia smiled softly at him.

He went to the cupboard, took out another set for the bed, and sat down in the chair watching her, moving around in his bedroom like they had never parted, dressed only in a towel.

When she'd made the bed, she grabbed all the dirty linen and put it into the laundry bag, he'd carry it to the laundrette in the morning.

He held out his hand, and they crept into bed naked and rested a while, until Natalia said:

"I'd better be going home. Anya is staying with me, and if she comes home and finds the place empty, I'll never hear the end of it."

They smiled at each other.

"We were good with each other tonight, weren't we, Nat?" Nick was caressing her arm.

"Yes. I guess baby steps is not for us, huh?" Natalia smiled at him sadly, "But you know we'll end up fighting sooner or later. I don't want that. I want to be friends, to have fun, to have to good times. I think I'm better at handling you now, and I've learned some things myself, and maybe we can just learn how to be good with each other, and get those good times back."

Nick sighed.

"Yeah. I want those too. I think we should try at least to take it easy."

Natalia climbed out of bed, and went looking for her underwear and dress. Nick followed her, grabbing her from behind and holding her tightly, too tightly. Natalia was getting restless.

"Nick!" There was a clear warning in her voice, and he eased his grip on her.

Instead he pinched her left buttock really hard.

To leave another little souvenir.

" I just have to tell you Mr, Nick Townsend, that if you do anything stupid, anything at all, our deal is off!" She looked at him sternly, and when she saw that he accepted her wish, she softened the words with a smile.

He grinned at her, with his trademark glimmer in those intense blue eyes.

"Here's to us, Nat, here's to us." And Natalia forgave him the possessive "hug" and kissed his cheek.

"And here's to us, too." She smiled at him.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And after the first painful days and even weeks after Nick's death, when she was so angry at him for attacking Maxine and getting them into trouble again, or alternatively missing him so badly she just sat down and cried, she would remember that evening.

It hadn't been too perfect, he'd still been his old controlling self.

But it had been perfect enough for her.

Note: I thought it was strange they just found a hair in the bed if they'd had sex the night before. Let's just say there should have been more. So I'm letting Nick be a neat freak, and that's why there is just some hair.


End file.
